you can only date me if you want to marry me.

"The point of dating is marriage."

it's like a 2-edged sword. and it's been a recurring theme lately...ive seen several movies, had multiple conversations, and seen a few different scenarios where dating was the key point and marriage was up next.  i know of a handful of people who would strongly disagree with that ^^^ quote. marriage is the opposite of dating, when you date you're "playing the field," you don't have to "settle down." yet ultimately, how can you get to point B (marriage) without first crossing point A (dating)? they definitely go hand in hand. but if you took every relationship you were ever in with the mindset that you would one day marry that person, things would be a lot different. at least, for me they would. ive only been in 3 defined relationships. one of which was VERY ill-defined, but ill consider it in this circumstance anyway. there have been maybe 2 other "relationships" ...because they weren't defined at all.  and of those 5, i actually pictured myself (long-term...married) to 3 of them. [[2 defined, 1 not defined...just for clarification. lol]] someone once told me that they don't think i view marriage as a sacred bond...or as sacred as it really is because im able to picture myself with people so easily. yet here arises our case in point: if im unable to picture myself marrying you, what on earth am i doing dating you?? the answer: WASTING MY TIME (yours too). and the fact of the matter is, im a long-term type person...as ive mentioned before, a planner. yes, i am completely aware that things may not always go according to planned but i still like to have that COMFORT of knowing what SHOULD come next. 
i feel like a lot of people date because they don't want to be lonely. and i know that there have been times when i have reciprocated attention that was thrown my way for that reason. i don't think many people date because they potentially want to marry whoever it is they're with. i know people whose sole purpose in life is to get married and have kids, others who NEVER want to get married, and then some who believe in marriage but not procreation. ;) (love youu!) i feel like loneliness is ultimately one of the main attributors of dating. today, my dad and i were talking and i told him "i actually enjoy being alone.." and he said "yeahh, it's nice sometimes. but that's because you have a CHOICE." and it's so true! think about the typical "cat lady." she probably settled for cats because she couldnt find a life partner that met her standards, or she just wasn't what other people wanted. part a) she had the choice to settle and be unhappy. part b) she did not have a choice...nobody wanted her...therefore she was lonely and resorted to cats. yeahh, i know..kinda morbid.


but basically, we have the CHOICE of whom we decide to date. we (and i say we as a collective term because im assuming that if youre reading this you're in a free country and your marriage has not been arranged) have the CHOICE of who we marry. we can choose to change our attitude, conform to society's "norm," settle, and be "happy." but ultimately, dating is the point of marriage. and the way ive been haphazardly dating, that has not been my mindset. but things have changed in the past 3 months that have made me see things from a completely different perspective. marriage is definitely sacred, and i understand that with the utmost clarity, and since dating is the means of attaining this bond, i feel like it should be taken a whole lot more seriously.

dating...marriage...my abuelos, 60 years later.