A Closer Look at the Destruction--Relationships

PART 2--Macy [[pardon my rambling/straying from the topic!!]]

Women are TERRIBLE DECISION MAKERS:

 In my collegiate experience, most “boys” see an attractive body feature on a female and immediately think "i'd hit it…" or something along those lines.  And maybe they actually do which causes a domino effect.  How?  It COULD cause the female to develop feelings for this guy, which would lead to regret on the guys part, wounded feelings, “broken hearts,” and lies...all over a seeking of selfish and immediate gratification. 
No, relations are not necessarily as upfront with girls.   You don't always “get what you pay for.”  Sure, you may see all the hand-holding and facebook PDA ( -_- gag me), but,  in general, girls are more emotional beings and, as a defense mechanism, choose not to lay all of their trust out on the table like a guy seems to. (GENERALLY). but isn't that supposed to be the point of actually having a relationship, getting to know each other?  TRUST??...the ultimate catalyst for a marriage… (one that would hopefully NOT end in divorce?)

What’s in the Past, is in the Past:

 I agree wholeheartedly with this point because of failed past relationships.  1) being hurt in a previous relationship inevitably impairs one’s ability to trust…but that doesn’t mean that this new person is undeserving of your trust.  At the same time, however, it doesn’t mean that you should throw yourself at him/her expecting him/her to catch you regardless. 
2) You are in NO position whatsoever to judge anyone.  so, forgive people for whatever it was that they did, and BELIEVE that they are making an active attempt to better themselves.  Don’t be so naive that you fall into the same traps as everyone before you did, but trust that your partner is able to succeed…if you won’t believe in them, why are y’all even together??
--Leave the past where it belongs, but keep it in mind so you don’t repeat those same mistakes.

Angry Black Woman Syndrome
ALLLLRRRIIIGGHHHTTT. lol. I’ve got to say that I actually looked it up. :p not a CLINICAL diagnosis or anything, but here are 5 signs you may be one: 1) you’re constantly urged to seek therapy (or Jesus).  2) You’re a hater.  3) You aren’t being asked why you’re single.  4) You’re never satisfied.  5) You’re [angry] right now.
LOL- well, as far as DeMarcus’ blogging goes, I can understand how intolerance towards a father figure can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  The power of words is IMMENSE and not enough people realize that.  If someone is consistently hearing negative things, they tend to subconsciously act on those assumptions of their behavior.  By saying that, I mean that an angry Black woman who constantly bashes her husband in front of her daughter (or son for that matter) may cause the father to cheat, lie, or steal…just to fulfill what the mother already believes.  This would then cause the daughter to be more inclined to believe that all men are like that (since a daughter looks up to her father as her hero), and a son would grow to believe that that was the way a REAL MAN was supposed to act.
Daddy always said, “Don’t go to bed angry..”  Well, Don’t wake up angry either!  You’re projecting that anger onto EVERYONE you come in contact with. [[GEEZ. stay in your room and watch a funny movie.]]

Girls Influence Girls
Okay, I’ll admit it.  I’ve gone to my “girlfriends” and asked for advice on guy situations…well, that advice never was the “right” advice because they were NEVER in my position.  BUT! it seemed right at the time…so I kept on doin’ it.  I dated this guy once who said, “a relationship’s worst enemy is your girlfriend’s single best- friend.” lol  he would always say it was because she’d feed lines about what a bad guy he was and how he wasn’t deserving, etc. etc… and honestly…she was RIGHT about that. but the truth of the matter is, bringing other people into your relationships for “advice” is just an excuse to vent or gossip.  go see a counselor or get a journal.  Your girlfriends may tell you that his actions mean one thing [[like he really DOES love you!]] when in reality, he just felt like offering to pay for your movie theater snacks that day.
--don’t read too far into things.

Girls like to Argue
Alright, I’m gonna use the common case of arguing for a minute: LAWYERS. and in fact, in 2000, 73% men and only 27% of women were lawyers.  let’s say they ONLY chose it because they make more money and like to ARGUE…CASE CLOSED!!
But really, I think that it seems that girls argue more because they are generally more verbal beings.  Guys think things through and act on them.  When a girl goes shopping, she may want the opinion of several others before buying…whereas a guy is more likely to pick something up and go.  LESS TALKING.  The less talking you do, the less likely you are to spark up a controversial conversation with someone.
Girls are known for being chatty…people have different views…people like to be heard…àthey argue.

Independent Movement

Oh brother.  I really wish this wasn’t on the list.  After reading his section, I’m slightly confused but I’m just going to say what I feel it means to me.  [[I actually just blogged about this like 2 weeks ago so half of me feels like being lazy and copying& pasting]]. 
anyway, I’ve learned that I am on the verge of being TOO independent.  and yes, there is such a thing.  I truly do appreciate chivalry, it’s not dead.  but, I am perfectly capable of doing things on my own.  For instance, I can change my own tire, fix things in the engine part of my car, pay my own bills, my car is paid off, I have my own washer/dryer lol, idk what else but I’m a gosh-darn GROWN-UP!  Rarely will I ask a man for help…1) because I’m stubborn and want to do it on my own, 2) because I feel like that’s regressive…men have been doing things this whole time…which is why we live in such a chauvinistic society-women weren’t given an opportunity until they sought it.  I just want it to be known that I am capable.  However, I LOVE when a man is willing to TEACH me something rather than DO something for me. [[what can I say, I’m a nerd, I love to learn.]] ;)

Anyway, I’m not saying, “I’m so independent, I don’t need a man, I can do bad all by myself!” …even though that’s probably true, but I know when to let go.
--Create and internalize that balance.